Silence is not always golden - the 5 faces of Silence
Often, we associate communication with two people talking and making some noise. However, there is an aspect of communication that still involves two people communicating with only one person talking: silence.
Silence is also a form of communication. Quiet as it may be, if you "listen" closely enough, you will realize it, too, has a voice. Some even say it is louder than words.
Unlike other forms of communication, silence is not explicit and can mean many things. Knowing the various types of silence will greatly help you communicate with others. Below are 5 flavors of silence
#1 Silence from the get-go
If you are meeting someone for the first time, he chooses silence over speaking. It simply means he is not interested in what you have to say, or they simply wish to be alone. They choose silence over communication with you and have no interest in starting or continuing a conversation. It is best at this point in time, to politely excuse yourself and engage with someone else.
#2 Silence in the middle
Have you ever been in a conversation, and the other party just went silent?
Unlike the previous scenario, the other party is not displaying disinterest but is doing some thinking and perhaps even being deep in thought. With new information, we need some time to think it through to understand what it means, how it is related, and finally, how they are impacting us.
When they are thinking, they generally don't look at you as you might distract them from their thoughts. In this instance, you must pause and give them time to think. Allow them to collect their thoughts before continuing with the conversation.
A version of this "silence in the middle of a conversation" is when the person is silent and looking at you intensely at the same time. They are fuming inside and keeping silent to control themselves from lashing out. You want to be cognizant of this form of silence, as your ignorance can just aggravate the situation.
#3 Don't bother me silence
There are days when things are just not going the way we want, or our moods get the better of us. We just want to avoid others and be left alone. We just want to shrink into our sanctuary and be by ourselves.
During these times, we may go into silent mode.
If you don’t hear from someone for a spell, allow them to have their space. They just need some “me” time. If you are concerned about the well-being of the other party, you can gently send off a simple message, “Hi, are you ok?” and wait for their response. Hopefully, you will receive a reply. Otherwise, you may want to call someone to check up on them.
#4 Silence as a weapon
Silence could also be used as a weapon. It is usually used as a form of protest (i.e., silent protest). From childhood to adulthood, we all have, at one time or another, exhibited such behavior. Someone has disappointed or upset us, and we are giving them the cold shoulder. We are not in the mood to have a conversation with that person who is the cause of our poor mood.
Once again, despite a quiet exterior, a person may be fuming inside. At times, we may be like a keg of dynamite if provoked. You want to be aware of such silent protest and gingerly approach them.
#5 Silence the death knell
Silence can also be the sound of a closed mind. A point has been reached and no words you utter are going to matter. You have been reduced to a person of no interest to the silent party. It can happen at home as well as in the workplace.
This is a dangerous place to be as you are just shy of a step from being ex-communicated. If you want to do something to salvage the relationship, the time is now.
Silence is worrisome for a salesperson. In the closing days of a protracted corporate sales situation, silence from a client denotes a few things: you are no longer the favored vendor; they are busy talking to your competitor.
At this juncture, you want to quickly seek out your customers and understand what is going on in their world before it is too late.
As you can see, silence takes on different forms depending on the scenario. It is not a case of one size fits all.
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