Losing more than just your Anger
Have you ever been in a state of anger and said or done things you later regret?
I am sure most of us have had that experience at one point.
In our natural state, we prefer a peaceful co-existence with others rather than one with tension and frustrations. In fact, most of us do not like to be worked up and angry. It is a state most of us avoid, as it can take a toll on us.
However, there are days when things just do not go our way, and people around us rile us up. If we get too emotional, we could say things that could lead to hurt feelings or a misunderstanding.
Understanding anger and its impact is most important if we want to maintain good relationships and be welcome.
#1 Anger is triggered
Anger is often externally triggered. In our natural state, we are not going about our lives in anger. Instead, we prefer to be in a state of peace or happiness. It is when someone upsets us, we morph into something destructive and sometimes even abusive.
Understanding how we are triggered and rationalizing it can help us to minimize this effect. For being angry, it has consequences. More often than not, the consequences are not pretty.
#2 Anger is an emotional response
As we all know, when emotions rule, logic goes out of the window. We need to recognize that bad things will happen when we are in this emotional state. When we are angry, we are most likely to say and/or do things we might later regret.
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Words, once spoken, are difficult to retrieve. They can leave a deep cut, and it is something you can never backpaddle from once it is uttered.
NEVER act in an emotional state and do not have an outburst. Though you might make the best speech of your life then, you will later regret it when emotions cool off.
Anger is the insidious beast that lies within all of us. It is an emotional response. As we all know, when emotions rule, logic goes out of the window. We need to acknowledge that bad things will happen when we are in this emotional state. When we are angry, we are most likely to say and/or do things we might later regret.
Words, once spoken, are difficult to retrieve. Words can leave a deep cut, and it is something you can never back paddle from once it is uttered.
We must recognize this self-destructing mechanism within us all and nip it in the bud when we logically can.
For once the beast takes over, we have morphed into a raging beast like Marvel's Hulk. Though our clothing may not be ripped, nor our bodies turned green, we are nonetheless transformed. We become logically blind, and we are in battle mode. Now the unpleasantries begin. Things can go badly very quickly.
#3 Controlling the beast
We must never let anger take over us. We must be wary of its impending presence.
We must quickly take control of the situation and not let anger take over. The best thing you can do is to remain calm and not react. The worst thing you can ever do in an emotional state is to react and say things you will later regret.
NEVER act in an emotional state and do not have an outburst. Though you might make the best speech of your life then, you will later regret it when emotions cool.
Take a breather and remove yourself emotionally from the situation.
If need be, you can even remove yourself from the conversation before things get heated. Request an adjournment if you must.
Allow the anger within to subside. Never say or do anything when you are charged emotionally. One misstep can set you back.
Come back to the conversation when the emotions are out of the way, and logic is back in play. With a calm, logical mind, you can now think rationally and make appropriate responses.
#4 Anger is Spontaneous
Anger can strike us unexpectedly at any time and appear instantaneously. It could happen at home, at work, or even on the road.
If you are at home, and you have an outburst, you might just plant a seed of disrespect or discontentment within your loved ones. It is unlikely to be forgotten and might come back to haunt you later.
At work, if you demonstrate anger, you might lose the respect of your colleagues. You may be deemed to be emotionally unstable and unfit to work with others. Worst still, if you are primed for a leadership role, any outburst will throw your ability to lead into question. If an outburst culminates in a fistfight, you might even get fired.
When driving, if someone cuts into your lane, which often happens, you might get furious and start chasing the other car. Statistics have shown it hardly works out for anyone when a confrontation happens on the road. There might be financial losses and casualties. And you might not reach your destination.
Hence, do not let anger rule you, as unpleasant outcomes are not very far behind, and you might lose much more than just your anger.
#5 Anger in Negotiations
If you are in a negotiation, your counterparty may sometimes goad you to get emotionally charged. Do recognize this as a tactic to get you to be illogical so that you make a mistake.
Once again, remain calm and do not react to your counterparty's goading. If necessary, take a break or seek an adjournment to cool off.
Conclusion
Anger is similar to putting an imaginary knife into a person and slowly drawing it out. It won’t matter how many times you say “I’m sorry”. The wound has already been inflicted.
It is difficult to win them back once you hurt them or make them feel lousy. Hence, you must rein in the beast within.